Another Lockdown: Sad, Angry, Tired and Guilty

I have not been properly blogging and communicating with the world the whole month of July. As we went into another ‘lockdown’ in June, I was hopeful that this would somehow reduce the Covid-19 cases. But day by day, the number seems to only shoot up, with deaths number keep arising. Now not only do I have family members or know friends who were infected by the virus, I also know friends who lost their family members to Covid-19.

It’s depressing to say the very least.

Then that sadness and gloominess turn into anger. I’m so angry with this Government. The bloating Cabinet is filled with politicians who seem to only care about their pockets, and not about us. When people are struggling to put food on their table, raising white flags hoping for the kindness of fellow citizens, dealing with the losses of parents, siblings, wives, husbands, relatives and friends, employees losing their jobs, business owners trying to keep their businesses afloat, students coping with online learning without the necessary devices, frontliners getting tired praying for light at the end of the tunnel, people ended their lives, people died…

And what is our Government doing all the while?

They are doing whatever they can – not to help us but – to hold onto power. They have meetings at their personal residences till late midnights – the agenda is not about us but – to find tricks to remain on the throne. They stand together live on television – not to share their solution to all this but – to seek political support to stay in power. I can go on – on the confusing SOPs, double treatment, closure of Parliament, 150k laptops, politically motivated arrests, slow vaccine rollouts – but I think you get the picture that we are governed by incompetent corrupted politicians that are playing with our lives and livelihoods.

And that’s why I am angry.

I’m also tired. How long do we have to live this way? Other countries are on their way to normalcy, yet we are still living in fear. Our only hope now is to get vaccinated which is a very slow processs and poorly managed. How many people have to be infected or lose their lives before we reach herd immunity? It’s tiring.

Sad, angry, and tired – I believe we share those feelings.

On a personal level, I’m doing well in this lockdown, safe and sound working from home. As much as I want to enjoy this, I cannot stop myself from feeling guilty. I try to help as much as I can but it never seems enough. I also no longer feel comfortable sharing about personal finance these days because I feel like my sharing would be from a point of privilege. The only struggles I would be able to share are my dilemma to buy this or that, my impulse purchases, or my inability to make money in the stock market. In the grand scheme of things amidst this pandemic, they are petty struggles. And that’s why I might be posting here, but I stop sharing on my Facebook page.

Sigh. That would be all for July update. No spending highlights this time.

Hope you are doing well! Stay safe.